What Goes Around Comes Around!!!!!

Last weekend Gans and I decided to get into a more social mood and make all those long overdue visits to relatives. Part of it came out of constant prodding from Mom and Gans' uncle. Finally, we decided, let’s do it and get over with it!!!! Little did we know that we would come back smiling and with some wisdom in those dense head of ours.

Our First stop was at an aged couple's home, my Granmas' brother. The Grandpa was 84 and his wife probably three to four years younger. We had been postponing our visit for about a year, so it was natural for them to be a lil bit cross with us. We couldn’t avoid the visit this time around coz there was my Granma’s younger sister who was visiting from US, and wanted to meet Gans (da groom her grand-niece had chosen).So we wore our best sober clothes, to visit the octegenarians.Arrived there about one hour late and thought that this would have understandably sparked off displeasure from the "British Raj Generation”. So, there we were, blew it all up from the very start. As we entered we could feel the warmth in their eyes and smiles on those soft wrinkled lips. We were glad to see that our late entry had not irked them a bit, and even if it had, they probably had learnt to deal with the "Laid Back Coke Generation".

The first thing we noticed was that the home was neat, Spartan, huge and uncluttered and happiness seemed to emanate from every corner. It was bright with colorful floral curtains and lots of space. The gracious hostess, who was about 81 or 82 years old, asked if we wanted coffee or tea. Our polite refusal to cause them any kind of inconvenience did not go down well with her "hospitable" instincts. She insisted and we put forth our preferences after which the poor lady smiled and reconfirmed our requests but swapped our preferences.Gans politely smiled and corrected her. Then she rose from her chair, and we noticed she was a complete hunchback owing osteoporosis. That moment guilt pangs had hit the peak and we collectively wished we could have insisted on having nothing and said we were there to see them. Both Gans and me involuntarily rose to help her out, only to receive an "I can handle myself” kind of a look from her. We backed out due to fear of being misunderstood. Then I followed her to the kitchen in the next two minutes, thinking that she could do with a lil bit of company in the neat spacious kitchen. She just ushered me into the living area and asked me to be seated. I obediently took my seat. Then she came in, her weary shaky hands holding the tray that somehow looked bigger than her delicate lil hands. She offered us the beverages (again the wrong ones) and took a deep breath to sink into the Armchair.

Conversations drifted from pleasantries, to sundry enquiries of wellness till we started warming up in our chairs and were comfortable enough to recline ourselves and lend our ears to the enriching experiences of the wise souls. There were talks on how Gramps had carefully steered clear of corruption during his 41 years of holding High bureauracratic positions in the Central Government, how he repelled the those rotten eggs of his dept by being as rude and nasty as possible, how he intimidated the corrupted bureaucrats of other nations during his tour as a UN official in Chile. We were naturally amazed at the experiences and to think that this High level bureaucrat was sitting in front of us wearing simple white cotton Kurtha and Pajamas and perched on this recliner in a Spartan home and treating two youngsters with the glories of the past. One would expect a man of his stature to carry airs and live in a mansion with an army of attendants to wait upon him, but there they were the happy simple couple. Of course our delicate and dainty lil’ hostess added that much needed homely touch to the conversation by mentioning about the comfortable huge houses and abundant house-hold help that was available during those glorious days and how she really hated to see so many people help around and never appreciated the plethora of attendants in the good old days. She looked wistful for such help in today’s date when she actually needs it.

The stay at their home which was initially intended to be 15 minutes, stretched a long two hours. And no we weren’t forced to stay, we enjoyed it.

We learnt too many things that day. We understood how important it is to connect with people (both of us hated socializing), how our mere concern and desire to meet certain people can bring them so much happiness, how honesty may not be able to buy you comfort and luxuries, but may fill your sack with happiness and peace of mind abundantly, and how we must never have preconceived notions about how boring or interesting some meetings might be.

I guess this visit had definitely made us wiser, happier and most of all made us smile.

On our way home, Gans looked at me and said" we'll also grow old together one day and long for a visit from youngsters and would tell them about the good old days, and they would curse us under their breath." Life is a full circle.

PS: The next stop of our visit to be featured in the next blog….watch the space

Smart Women and Loosers Attract

Well, wonder why I see these things more and more each day.....Is it that there is a dearth of good men around or women in General have are too smart to a fault...whew! These are true stories that happened in front of my eyes and any resemblance to any person dead or living is not co-incidental.

Scenario 1:

A smart girl who works for a HR Firm in a metropolis. She is beautiful, dashing, well dressed, neat, stylish and Fashionable, knows her mind, loves Soft Rock, Hollywood romantic comedies, Jim Morrison, Brad Pitt, Meg Ryan, Bollywood and Kajol.She is the very smart suave career woman, focused on building a career. In short she iz what you would call a Rock Chick.....She has a boyfriend who is good looking but such a looser in life, lives off his girls' earnings and blows up da money mainly on Booze, beats her up whenever he gets high and Highly possessive....Finally the smart cookie, manages to dump the squib after a huge emotional conflict...The breakup hurts her a lot as she really loved the guy and he was a high school sweetheart...Of course the break up is heavy on the guy as well, but after all he was da cause for it thus it waz well deserved.....then she finds this sympathetic shoulder smartass kinda guy, okie looking, not a looser, planning to get a green card and is chasing our dear lil Rock Chick like mad...both hook up and rock chick sees love in life again, the guy splurges on her, the best hangouts, the best outfits, the guy brings out confidence in her which is a good thing..3 months later he gets his US Visa and flies to Uncle Sam in search of Employment and Green Card, leaving his Rock Chick behind...She carries his photograph in her bag, has his voice as a ring tone and caller tune, has a framed photo of them both on her work desk....the relationship tries hard to survive for a staggering period of six more months after which she is perplexed by his indifference and disinterest, he comes to her land only to tell her its over.....then she finds this extremely sexy, suave, handsome colleague who has seen her thru the previous relationship and was secretly harboring feeling for our beauty, jumped and the first chance, wooed her with flowers, gifts, coffee outings, then slowly they became cozy dinners and then they officially announced the "committed" status, when the mother of typical Tambram hunk disapproves of the social nicotinelizing (if dats a word), social boozing , career minded and modern bahu in da family, the hunk, turns out to be a Mamas Boy....Rock Chick is confused to the hilt though he career is in its peek....

Scenario 2;

A super intelligent well groomed career girl with a great job and numerous offers flooding her practically every day. Hot property in the Corporate houses, well networked, oozing confidence, will never take no for an answer when it comes to closing Business deals, Star performer in her team, intimidates Men. She loves her Archies with piping Coffee, gushes over Brad Pitt (he is really the taste of Sophosticated women), loves Ally Mc Beal and Friends and loooves most of all to hang out with friends for a smoke , chai and some cheese sandwiches.She had been dating this light eyed, non looker, non performer, looser, since her college days,when he swept her off her feet with some silly love song he sang, and from that day on our lil dynamo had her heart set on da dude, she had seen the world , met a lot of interesting men along her career, partied with corporates, but she stuck to this ol’ damp who was struggling to do something in life and was trying a pathetic hand at the Real Estate Business, as she had the responsibility of a commitment and she was a strong believer of "TRUE LOVE"....but unfortunately the ol’ damp did not share the similar belief and sentiments, building up an inferiority complex came naturally to him, especially during all those social occasions when she would take him out for her corporate gatherings. He would spot a young Tart who may not be as intimidating as his girlfriend and flirt endlessly, looked for easy tarty lays everywhere and banged them left right centre as a tonic for his ego, till the lady found out one day, and dumped him immediately and then had a girly night out with a lot of booze and dance, but in spite of all this she camouflaged all the hurt she felt inside....now shez single, ready to mingle and come out of the seclusion she waz in for months.....

Seanario 3:

Highly skilled, talented , articulate, and pretty young thing. Most had hardly seen a 13 year old with such IQ and were fascinated with the young thing. Everyone thought there was no match for her in the world. She was too good for anyone. Loved her Fredrick Forsythe, Sidney Sheldon, Broadway musicals, and a small dose of Bollywood to go along with the concoction. She was a dreamer and dreamt of the white Knight on a steed who'd sweep he off her feet, thank fully she didn’t have to wait long before the real Knight surfaced from nowhere and blew her mind off....he was handsome (extremely goodlooking) , stylish, rockstar Dude who came with the frills of being rich.She was elated and could believe she had found the love of her life so early, when people wait for 30 till they set their heart on someone, she had found her soulmate at 13...so what if his IQ doesn’t match that of hers, she will manage to live on conversations revolving around the 80's rock stars....she will keep the more intellectual discussions for the family and friends, she will cook for him, keep his house, his dog...she had stars in her eyes.....the relationship went along smooth sailing for 8 years, then trouble started brewing in her paradise....She had run out of the 80's rock star anecdotes in her stock , so had he....so she started being satisfied with the silly conversations or non conversations they had....she realized it would be very difficult to get along with a person with famine for ideas.......he was the typical stud who like to be complimented for his good looks by beautiful women and fell into the trap of glamour and glitz though he claimed that he loved his pretty young thing a lott...she tolerated his philandering only for the reason that he seemed to be still madly in love with her.....he abused her, and cheated on her and always came back with a puppy dog face she couldn’t resist.....she took all the shit from him, and they were engaged to be married , just when she thought engagement would change him, she learnt of a few more disturbing activities of our Hero, she wanted to call off her marriage but couldn’t owing to familial ties...don’t know what to say.


Seanario 4:

Smart, Intelligent, well dressed, pretty, bubbly and ultra charming. Very ambitious girl and wanted to be a top notch corporate figure. Did everything she could to work towards her goal. Did internships, socialized with people who mattered, studied to get into various colleges. The journey was interrupted by a surprise co-passenger who had similar dreams and she fell madly in love with the beautiful stranger. He was a cool dude, the kind most women would die for. As soon as she expressed her undying love to her, he laughed it off as an infatuated lil girl. But the more he got to know her, meet her, he realized she was a woman with grit, strength and stuff (the grey kind).So he fell for the girl head over heels. As soon as he proclaimed his love she had to move city. She kept the faith and so did he. Letters, mails, cards, phone calls were the most awaited tidbits in her life. She was as bubbly as ever and love had given her more strength and grit. Slowly the correspondence seemed to be thinning from the dude's den. She was worried, she would try calling him up. He would always seem to be "out of calling area", "Busy", or "Switched off”. Sometimes she would go weeks without any communication from the mate, weeks turned into months, months turned into half an year. NOW, she had had enough, she decided to look her man up herself. She visited his town .Set up a date at an appointed place and time. The guy showed up 3 hours behind schedule, with friends and some booze and fast bikes. She was horrified. How could the ambitious, sincere and level headed boy turn into "The Perfect Brat”. She waz dissapointed.The guy being as insensitive as he could be, was shocked to see her, as he thought she might have left the hangout after waiting for him for an hour or so. So he turned a good 3 hours late. That was the end of it all. She left him with the bad company he had gotten into; after all she had many more ambitions in life to look forward. But yes this one did hurt, and hurt her bad, though thankfully not bad enuf to leave a scar.


So you see now, Most of the smart women end up with Big Time Losers, and why????There are too many such stories to fit into my blog, but all of them have the same underlying themes to them. Well the girls did move on with their lives eventually, some found true love, and some compromised on the losers, some got smarter and decided to dump all men and turn Lesbians (well not really!!! just kidding.), but ya some made up minds to steer clear of the disturbed sex, Sigh!!!!!
But one underlying factor was that they were all smart with the wrong men.

Why are Smart women mostly attracted to Losers, Beats me!!!!!!!