When Big is Beautiful

Well , am finally at the stage where i may have to wait for just 2 weeks for my bundle of happiness to arrive....enjoyed shopping for the lil one , clothes , cradle, toys and all.....

There waz a time when i was getting bigger, I would look myself in the mirror and give a snarl, but the getting bigger in pregnancy makes me wanna show off my bump....the bigger I get the happier i feel and for some strange reason, Gans is also ga-ga over the bump, he looks at it proudly and if I even try and wear clothes that might camouflage the bump, he flies off the handle.....

This is the only time when you are forgiven even if you put on 10 to 15 kgs.....who sayz only small is beautiful......

Maternity excitement

Havent blogged for a while now....hey by the way, thanks Sree for your concern , am doing just fine my dear girl.....its just that the third timester of the 9 and a half month ordeal is taking a toll on my general fitness.....the fatigue and the heaviness...I call it the the 3rd trimester jitters...and also the excitement of the fact that I will be seeing the face of my sweet angel in just 11 weeks......

well, its amazing how the maternity period can be so difficult yet so enjoyable....the heart burns , heaviness, vericose veins, and numerous discomfort but just thinking of the miracle that you will be holding in the end make the effort worthwhile.....

I have only been daydreaming about my baby in the past few weeks....have become such a zombie....but guess this phase is one of the sweetest phase in ones life....Gans is very excited too...and has been collecting info on how hw can help during labor....

A Tale of Two Cities

Am presently enjoying my maternity break at my in-laws place back at Jamshedpur, the steel city. Frankly loving the attention, loving being overfed ( appetite seems to be an unending saga), but just detesting the "much bigger me" and have resolved to get back to my original size at least a month after the delivery.One thing that I am enjoying the most though is the quiet peaceful town that Jamshedpur is.What a respite from the noisy, dust spurning city that Mumbai is.Living in Jamshedpur almost feels as if I have descended onto an uninhabited land, untouched by dust, pollution, crowds most importantly TRAFFIC.

Most People living in Mumbai would surely agree with me when I say the peak hour trafiic in Mumbai in a hot summer day can be equalled to a third degree torture.Ok maybe I was going too far , but definately second degree torture.Waiting on the endless Western Express highway for the antline of vehicles to budge when the suns rays burn your skin, the sweat soils your clothes and the dust and grime makes it impossible for you to convice those nosey parkers that you bathed in the morning.You enter the well lit corporate office and the snazzy rooms with clean walls looking like a drab apology to your posh surroundings(yeesh! how I hate to be in that position). Anyway, bottomline is, Mumbai gives you all the patience you need to live in conditions unsuited for basic comfortable living.The city teaches you to grow up, put up with consistant honking and pan spitting, smell of rotten garbage and sewage, in short , it teaches you to put up with a lot of shit.

Thats why coming to a small clean township like Jamshedpur, you feel as if you have descended in somesort of a luxurious resort.The peace and quiet, the clean roads , non honking and non pan spitting public, and a meagre 4 to 5 vehicles plying on roads canopied by tall green trees seems like such a luxury fit only for the king to enjoy.You hardly find dusty and chipped of concrete multistories huddled with people breathing down each others necks. I have only seen independent houses with beautiful gardening spaces .Looks like everyone here has acquired a flair for gardening. The Roads are lined with tall trees to provide shade when it gets too sunny.And at a given point in time, there are only 4 to 5 vehicles plying on the roads.Inspite of these luxuries that the jamshedpurians enjoy, my ma and pa-in-law say that the traffic is bad, and the dust is killing and pollution is at a rise.

It hit me then" my city may not have given me all the basic comforts required for a peaceful life, but what it has definately given me is the patience to take the discomfort" Since I am not exactly living in the lap of luxury, I am satisfied with even basic requirements for a comfortable living.

In the name of God

Will not feed you with another dose of movie review....but watched "Khuda ke liya" last weekend and simply loved it...words cannot be put to understand the experience ...if you are looking for something sensible , hard hitting and gets you fodder for those thinking cells, "then dont miss it".......

“It was the best of times; It was the worst of times."

I wonder how many of you have seen the award winning movie" Hazaron Khwaishen Aisi". Friends kept telling me not to miss it but the lazybones in me never got around to pick up the CD. Last weekend, with nothing much on my agenda, I asked Gans to pick up the CD for me. The curiosity about people raving was too tempting to resist. And it was truly worth the watch.

In short, the movie, as quoted in some review “is how three extraordinary people change the course of their lives in a span of 10 years during the Indira Gandhi regime and Emergency." I would like to rephrase the jist in a more lay manner as “how 3 extraordinary people follow their individual dreams, realize the dream they are living turned out to be nightmares”

The opening lines of the title song says it all"Hazaroon Khwaishein Aisi ki har Khwaish pe dum nikalen"

I agree that life never follows the course you plan for it. Most of have seldom fulfilled living the dream we dreamt. I agree circumstances, lack of grit and determination, have an important part to play in not realizing that dream. But sometimes there are instances when the dreams are all fulfilled and realized only to discover later that the dream you lived and realized has ruined you.

Coming back to the movie. The movie kicks off at a time during the late 60s (Indira Gandhi Regime) with agitations against corruption, Satyagrahas by Gandhians, wannabe power mongers of the then "Infamous Youth Congress", confused bourgeoisie youth wanting to embrace socialist and communist ideals, the starry eyed middle class youth infested with ambition and ruthlessness in their journey to prosperity, and of course last but not the least the dangerous nexus between beaurocrats, businessmen and bum lickers of politicians. Plot revolves around 3 strong determined individuals who have their lives carved out for themselves. There is Siddharth, the son of a retired high court judge, who is chasing the communist dream, the starry eyed Vikram, son of a Gandhian, who dreams big bucks and the doe eyed Lady of steel, Geeta, whose dream is to support her lover, Siddharth at any cost.

Eventually all the three Delhi University graduates pass out to follow their individual dreams, they live their dreams.Siddharth joins the Naxalites and is a geurilla fighter for the oppressed somewhere in Bhojpur, Geeta, married to an IAS officer, leaves him to follow her dream of supporting Siddharth in his struggle and Vikram bags a huge contract of converting a Dilapitated Palace into a Five Star hotel and there is no looking back, before he knows it, he is a sucessful businessman. All of them have realized what they wanted to. Then comes the dread of emergency and indiscriminate arrests of all and sundry, this brings their well nestled lives to conundrum, and la....before you blink they are shattered and Vikram is left demeted with Geeta to care for him in some godforsaken village where she teaches in an elementary school and Siddharth is left nowhere after the disintegration of the Naxals, and is studying medicine at the age of 35.They lived their dream but dreaded it.

I know most people during the 70s were fascinated with the concept of Socialism and political awareness was at its peak among the youth.Most Delhi Universitietes harboured a dream to be a Naxal or a member of the communist movement.There were communist groups formed in the hostels.Colleges became political battlefields.Those were the times when awareness and rebellion was at its peak , so was oppression and corruption. The movie beautifully captures the romance and the passion of that era, when people had a purpose beyond just making money and flying abroad.

In Dickens’ words “It was the best of times; It was the worst of times."

What Goes Around Comes Around!!!!!

Last weekend Gans and I decided to get into a more social mood and make all those long overdue visits to relatives. Part of it came out of constant prodding from Mom and Gans' uncle. Finally, we decided, let’s do it and get over with it!!!! Little did we know that we would come back smiling and with some wisdom in those dense head of ours.

Our First stop was at an aged couple's home, my Granmas' brother. The Grandpa was 84 and his wife probably three to four years younger. We had been postponing our visit for about a year, so it was natural for them to be a lil bit cross with us. We couldn’t avoid the visit this time around coz there was my Granma’s younger sister who was visiting from US, and wanted to meet Gans (da groom her grand-niece had chosen).So we wore our best sober clothes, to visit the octegenarians.Arrived there about one hour late and thought that this would have understandably sparked off displeasure from the "British Raj Generation”. So, there we were, blew it all up from the very start. As we entered we could feel the warmth in their eyes and smiles on those soft wrinkled lips. We were glad to see that our late entry had not irked them a bit, and even if it had, they probably had learnt to deal with the "Laid Back Coke Generation".

The first thing we noticed was that the home was neat, Spartan, huge and uncluttered and happiness seemed to emanate from every corner. It was bright with colorful floral curtains and lots of space. The gracious hostess, who was about 81 or 82 years old, asked if we wanted coffee or tea. Our polite refusal to cause them any kind of inconvenience did not go down well with her "hospitable" instincts. She insisted and we put forth our preferences after which the poor lady smiled and reconfirmed our requests but swapped our preferences.Gans politely smiled and corrected her. Then she rose from her chair, and we noticed she was a complete hunchback owing osteoporosis. That moment guilt pangs had hit the peak and we collectively wished we could have insisted on having nothing and said we were there to see them. Both Gans and me involuntarily rose to help her out, only to receive an "I can handle myself” kind of a look from her. We backed out due to fear of being misunderstood. Then I followed her to the kitchen in the next two minutes, thinking that she could do with a lil bit of company in the neat spacious kitchen. She just ushered me into the living area and asked me to be seated. I obediently took my seat. Then she came in, her weary shaky hands holding the tray that somehow looked bigger than her delicate lil hands. She offered us the beverages (again the wrong ones) and took a deep breath to sink into the Armchair.

Conversations drifted from pleasantries, to sundry enquiries of wellness till we started warming up in our chairs and were comfortable enough to recline ourselves and lend our ears to the enriching experiences of the wise souls. There were talks on how Gramps had carefully steered clear of corruption during his 41 years of holding High bureauracratic positions in the Central Government, how he repelled the those rotten eggs of his dept by being as rude and nasty as possible, how he intimidated the corrupted bureaucrats of other nations during his tour as a UN official in Chile. We were naturally amazed at the experiences and to think that this High level bureaucrat was sitting in front of us wearing simple white cotton Kurtha and Pajamas and perched on this recliner in a Spartan home and treating two youngsters with the glories of the past. One would expect a man of his stature to carry airs and live in a mansion with an army of attendants to wait upon him, but there they were the happy simple couple. Of course our delicate and dainty lil’ hostess added that much needed homely touch to the conversation by mentioning about the comfortable huge houses and abundant house-hold help that was available during those glorious days and how she really hated to see so many people help around and never appreciated the plethora of attendants in the good old days. She looked wistful for such help in today’s date when she actually needs it.

The stay at their home which was initially intended to be 15 minutes, stretched a long two hours. And no we weren’t forced to stay, we enjoyed it.

We learnt too many things that day. We understood how important it is to connect with people (both of us hated socializing), how our mere concern and desire to meet certain people can bring them so much happiness, how honesty may not be able to buy you comfort and luxuries, but may fill your sack with happiness and peace of mind abundantly, and how we must never have preconceived notions about how boring or interesting some meetings might be.

I guess this visit had definitely made us wiser, happier and most of all made us smile.

On our way home, Gans looked at me and said" we'll also grow old together one day and long for a visit from youngsters and would tell them about the good old days, and they would curse us under their breath." Life is a full circle.

PS: The next stop of our visit to be featured in the next blog….watch the space